We live in the 2020’s, yet when we talk about masturbation it still feels like we live in the 1920’s. Over the years the act of pleasuring ones self sexually has been clouded by societal taboos and the feeling of discomfort. In this day and age the stigma surrounding masturbation should not be one of shame, guilt or anxiety but instead embraced, as this act can significantly impact our overall wellbeing, mental health along with the exploration and understanding of our own bodies and sexual desires. Breaking this silence is essential for our overall wellbeing so its high time we engaged in an open, honest and judgement-free conversation about this essential aspect of human sexuality.
The Myths
- Masturbation isn’t normal: This is far from the truth. Masturbation is a completely normal part of human sexuality and something that many people engage in.
- It’s only for the single and lonely: Masturbation is not exclusive. People in healthy relationships can and do masturbate for self-care and exploration
- It’s wasteful or harmful: It’s far from being wasteful, masturbation is a form of self-care and self-love. It carries no harm or negative consequences
- It’s dirty and shameful: This is a baseless assumption. Masturbation is a natural and healthy aspect of human sexuality that we should not be ashamed of.
- I’m not enough for my partner: Many people in relationships feel that if their partner needs to masturbate then they can’t possibly be satisfied with their coupled intimate experiences. This is not always the case! We shouldn’t feel threatened by our partners masturbating but instead we should embrace it. There are many different reasons for our partners masturbating, maybe they want some solo fun, don’t want to burden us with their sexual needs because they know we are busy or not in the mood, or maybe they just simply want to relax. Masturbation when in a relationship doesn’t have to mean things are not ok in the bedroom and can in fact be arousing for some.
So why is important to break the taboo and embrace masturbation?
When we break the stigma around masturbation, we allow ourselves to accept our natural sexual desires and impulses. We start understanding our own bodies and discover our unique preferences which can lead to improved satisfaction in our intimate relationships with a partner. These can lead to a healthier sense of self- acceptance and self- esteem.
Masturbation is a natural and effective stress relief as it releases endorphins during our orgasm which helps to alleviate stress, anxiety and depression. The relaxation and release of hormones like oxytocin can help us to fall asleep more easily and enjoy a deeper, more restorative rest. Furthermore for women it can help to relieve menstrual cramps and the increasing blood flow to the genitals is beneficial to their physical health and can have a positive impact on the tissue in this area.
So my conclusions are we should not be ashamed to masturbate whether that is on our own or with toys. We should embrace it, openly discuss it, emphasizing the benefits and encourage people to prioritise their sexual wellbeing and lead happier satisfying lives. We should feel empowered where in a society where masturbation has been demonised and silenced for so long, we have the power to make our own bodies feel good without the need from a partner. We should trust one another to talk collaboratively, sharing our thoughts and experiences and normalise masturbation. The longer we hide it, the longer the taboo surrounding masturbation will continue to exist. After all we live in the 21st century.