I’d spent many weeks contemplating how I was going to approach the conversation with my partner about adding toys into our sex life. Whilst our sex life was already very fulfilling, I couldn’t help but image the heightened excitement that could come from such additions. I was so worried he might misinterpret my intentions, believing I found our current intimacy dull or unsatisfying, whereas in reality this wasn’t the case at all – I was simply curious about the potential thrill of introducing new things into our sex life.
Numerous nights were spent pondered on the right way to broach this topic. Should I candidly bring it up, or surprise him with my vibrator during foreplay? Uncertainty clouded my judgment, and the more I contemplated it, the more I became apprehensive about the potential missteps. Yet, simultaneously, my desire to explore these new avenues grew stronger. One evening, as we casually watched a movie, the ideal moment unexpectedly presented itself and I found myself impulsively suggesting that we experiment with sex toys.
To my astonishment, my partner responded with an unexpected. ‘Sure, what do you have in mind?’ This caught me off guard, as I hadn’t prepared a precise answer for this scenario. While I had contemplated numerous convincing reasons for using such items, I hadn’t defined my own desires. Consequently, the remainder of the evening was spent delving into the topic. Much to my surprise my partner had a multitude of ideas, of what he’d like to do and try.
We embarked on this journey with cautious steps, initially introducing my trusted vibrator and him improvising a blindfold using a scarf. While for some this may not sound particularly exhilarating, the experience was transformative. Novel sensations emerged, ones I hadn’t encountered previously. Surrendering all control, I allowed my partner to guide the encounter, which heightened our connection in unexpected ways. At this moment I knew this was only the beginning of our exploration of using sex toys.
As time has passed, our journey of integrating toys into our relationship has expanded, paralleling the growth of our bond as a couple. The act of unveiling our desires, embracing honesty and embarking on new experiences has not only deepened our connection but also infused a unique vitality that’s shared solely between us.
While each person’s path will inevitably differ, my take out from my experience is that by fostering transparency, establishing mutually agreed limits (some we still uphold to this day, others have disappeared with confidence), nurture open lines of communication and placing our trust in one another, the introduction of toys into a relationship has the potential to be an incredibly enriching endeavour.